Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £9.99
Where To Get It: Steam

This review is mostly going to sound like gushing. And, in a sense, it will be. Because most of the flaws with Read Only Memories are in questions unanswered, and in flaws with the interface. But the core of the game… That induced a different type of gushing. But I can only talk about that in general terms, because… I don’t want to spoil things for you.

Turing is adorable, if somewhat… Logical at the beginning. He definitely develops, though.

In any case, Read Only Memories is an adventure game, similar in style to older games such as Cobra Mission, Snatcher, and the MacVentures, in that you have a first person view, and interact by clicking on things, then clicking on icons to do things with them. The inventory is a pop-up box menu, and dialogue runs across the blackspace at the bottom of the screen in JRPG fashion (Y’know, typing letters individually with the option to left click to hurry the words along already). It’s got its problems… For example, the dialogue clicking can lead to missing information if you want to hurry things along (A fast mode helps, but only somewhat), and your interaction icons will sometimes require you to move the mouse away from the thing you clicked, and then back, before you can do the thing you were planning to do.

But this is the thing: Those are niggles, and an adventure game lives or dies on not just whether fans like it, but the story, the aesthetic, the themes, and how it deals with them. In this, Read Only Memories does a good job. Visually, it’s going to remind you of Snatcher. Simple, pixel graphics, anime inspired, and most of it looks like a Syd Mead vision of the future rather than grim and gritty. But make no mistake, the story is a grim one. Turing, a self aware robot, breaks into your home to ask you for help in finding his creator, who had been assaulted, possibly kidnapped. Things snowball from there to corporate intrigue, felonies that would make Gabriel Knight or the cast of Day of the Tentacle wince, and… Not gonna lie, you may well cry at portions. Don’t be ashamed of that, it’s both a testament to your empathy, and to the creators’ solid narrative design.

Conservatism. Conservatism never changes. Pompadours, fringe-lines, fashion… But Conservatism… Never changes…

For all that the visuals don’t match perfectly, they match well enough that you believe in this future, where conservatives aren’t worried so much about the colour of your skin as to whether you want to look like a cat or want to improve on the human design with technology, and where robots, for common convenience tasks, are both common and believable in their functions. It’s cyberpunk as hell, in its way, because you’re not a powerful person (A media/hardware journalist, in fact. 😛 ), and it explores themes of consciousness, and privilege of the future, in a very succinct manner.

Perhaps a little too succinct in places (You may never understand why assuming that a feline person might be the TOMCAT you’re looking for is offensive, and the game won’t tell you unless you’re prepared to fuck up more than you already did), but the writing is tight, the music is fitting (I can’t think of a single track that didn’t fit the mood). The sound design is again mostly reminiscent of games like Snatcher, and what rare voice acting there is (The cutscenes) is fitting. What I particularly like, however, is its accessibility. It’s easy to understand, easy to get into, and, while the cutscene sorta assumes a gender for your character at the beginning, that’s not quite true (That cutscene is another niggle), as you can not only state your name, but your preferred pronouns as well (including custom pronouns). Since you never see yourself, and the character is mostly a tabula rasa (within the usual limits of games with dialogue choices), this is a good design choice. I went with they/them/their, and my own name… I don’t particularly know why, but… It felt right.

You may not think this makes sense. But it does. In context.
…Why yes, this is a subtle way of my saying “play the game”, why do you ask?

Read Only Memories can be completed in around 4 hours, but multiple paths and endings mean that this is definitely a replayable game… Yes, including bad ends… Most of the cheevos are hidden, another good design decision. As such, I would recommend this to quite a few folks out there, as it’s a simple enough adventure game (mechanically) that it would be a good entry point for folks who have been scared off adventure games before, adventure game fans will find the puzzles mostly well designed (I don’t know if there was a quiet way to do some things. Maybe I’ll find out later), and cyberpunk fans… Yeah, this is cyberpunk as hell. I definitely feel good about my £10, and I think (Don’t take my word for it, obviously!) that many of you will too. Even if, y’know, you get sniffly and tear up like me.

I’m not going to tell you what end I got, but… Folks who know me and my writings won’t be surprised about it, I’ll say that much.

The Mad Welshman sighed as he read news of another zaibatsu dealing with corruption in the ranks, sipping his Strawberry Power Hassy and brushing his long, dark mane. Sodding business news, he thought.

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Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £6.99
Where To Get It: Steam

Every now and again, there comes a time when there’s no diplomatic way to say that a game is terrible. Dark Heritage: Guardians of Hope is one of those times. This game is appalling, even for a genre not exactly known for high production values, or even polish at times. That genre is Hidden Object Puzzle Adventures (or HOPAs). Bear with me, while I explain why this game is the pits.

It is an unwritten law that all houses must have a ResEvil Lock/Safe somewhere on the property. Ghosts are not exempted from this.

For those who don’t know, HOPAs are a specific subgenre of adventure games, where at least a third of the puzzles (Usually more than half) involve finding hidden objects because… Well, between one and three of them (Usually just one) are important plot items, and the rest… Is just for the joy of finding hidden objects. Your mileage may vary immensely on whether that really is a joy, not only as a personal preference, but also within games. They mostly tend toward supernatural, sometimes romantic or familial stories, rely on simple characterisations, and have retained many of the same core UI elements as they had in their humble beginnings (Around 1998). Backgrounder over, let’s talk criticism.

For a start, unless specifically pluralised, hidden objects tend to be the only one of their kind in an individual puzzle. Not so with Dark Heritage, which not only has objects similar to each other (You may try and click on a “Hammer”, only to find out, near the end of the game, that it was actually a “Lever”. The actual hammer is on the other side), but exactly the same type of object (For example, two wheels. One’s a bicycle wheel, one’s a cart wheel. Only one of these choices is correct.

The game gives you clues via the usual journal. Those clues are not always visually clear, however.

The inventory puzzles, similarly, involve arbitrary interactions, much more so than usual. I couldn’t use a saw or an axe on some planks, because, since they had bolts on them, I was clearly meant to use a wrench. You’ll lose cutting tools (Because adventure game rules), then wonder why, as your main interactions appear to be cutting, smashing, and sawing of some description. Not all of them… But enough to leave you scratching your head, wondering why the hell you can’t smash this time.

As to the puzzles… There’s a lot of repeat puzzles, with at least two variations on the “Push levers which affect other levers, making sure they all go up/down” puzzle, a couple of jigsaws, and the lever push’s annoying cousin, “Three dials that go round and, bee tee dubs, affect each other. Good luck aligning them in patterns you may or may not have seen somewhere!”

This is the emotion portrayed throughout the conversation. Note also that that’s a webcam wig. You can tell because of the odd movements compared to the head.

The game attempts to experiment, with FMV actors over the usual fare of mixed 2d/3d scenes. This would be interesting, if a) They had something worth saying, and b) The actors weren’t asked, for some bizarre reason, to mostly just portray a single emotion, maybe two (Sometimes none!), with little to no relation to what is being said, or how it’s being said. The story is paper thin, even for a HOPA, and it can basically be summed up as Hero’s Journey Lite. “Get McGuffin, Beat Evil Master, and also solve the fiendish mysteri-” Oh, wait, we already covered those mysteries, didn’t we? They’re fiendish, alright, but not in the way you’d like.

HOPA fans will find the hidden object annoyances frustrating, Adventure game fans will not be sustained by the story, the acting (Voice or otherwise), and both will be annoyed by the inventory puzzles. This is one of those times I can’t recommend a game to anybody except those of us who look at games to see what the hell went wrong. And that makes me sad.

The Mad Welshman checked his pockets and sighed. He’d left his keys at home, and would have to solve a jigsaw puzzle, find a crowbar in among 11 other objects, break some planks, find some nails and a hammer (One of which was behind a colour matching lock), and build a ladder to get back in. Just another day, he sighed, as a Ghoul engaged him in conversation at the bus stop.

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Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £6.99
Where To Get It: Steam

All you need is love. Well, that and deciphering how to make people happy. This is the world of Dropsy the Clown, who teaches not to judge by appearances, and to be a lovely person. After all, Dropsy may look frightening, but he’s got a heart of gold. And a dog. I mean, you can’t ignore the – Okay, fine, let’s talk about the game he’s in…

Sometimes, the game can appear (and be) dark. But there’s a light…

Dropsy is a point and click adventure that reminds me of classics like Coktel’s Gobliiins (multiple i’s deliberate), where interactions are mostly simple, but some puzzles take a bit of thought. Certain things may confuse the first time player, used to other genres. The map is just that, a map. It’s not a teleporting map, like some games. Just a map. Dialogue and writing appears mostly gibberish, but that’s because paying attention to the dialogue bubbles is what’s important. And knowing the strengths and weaknesses of your two characters, Dropsy and his pup, are important. But enough about play, because this game is definitely a game working more on feelings than mechanics. And my, it definitely does that.

Funnily enough, it’s Dropsy I feel most ambivalent about. He wobbles as he walks, farts, hugs, and smiles his way through life, and I feel a little ill watching him. Not because he’s horrid… But because that wobbling walk just affects me that way. Your mileage may vary there. Music wise, sad saxophones, vibrant vibraphones, silly xylophones… They all work together to set moods, and the moods chosen are pretty good for where they are. The saxophone, for example, dominates Downtown, where a lady waits for her prince charming on a doorstep, a bouncer fistbumps his friends, a beggar waits for change, and… It feels like a vibrant, if downtrodden city block. The characters, similarly, show their character and expression freely, from the glum ladies on the front step of their house, to the child who runs screaming (Did I mention Dropsy was blamed for a fire that destroyed the circus? Maybe I should have, although he’s not really to blame.)

…Because sometimes, you can make someone’s world better.

Is the game perfect? Oh, heck no. Some of the puzzles are a little obtuse, Dropsy’s walk animation makes me verrry uncomfortable, but the core message behind the game shines through in many senses, and that message is: Everyone deserves hugs and love if they want it, and it can be easily offered. But I’ve fallen in love with this snaggle toothed clown, and good lord, if I had the chance, I’d give the guy a hug myself.

In short, it oozes character, and language becomes less important. Except the language of giving, and hugging. It feels slow at times, but if you’re good with that, I’m definitely good with that. If you like Point N Click that’s simple to play, but tough to work out (at times), then this may well be for you.

<3 Huuuuuuug! <3 … Y’know, if you want one.

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Source: Cashmoneys
Price: £6.99 (Episode 1), £23.99 (Season Pass)
Where To Get It: Steam

It’s a sad fact of life that we grow old, and we die. It’s unavoidable, really. But there’s something my father said once, and it’s stuck with me ever since he did: The Norse believed that so long as stories of a person survive, they aren’t truly dead. Their stories still affect us. And, in a sense, this appears to be the theme of the new King’s Quest, lauded as a prequel, but… Just as much a continuation of a long running series.

The facial design and animation is something to behold, very fitting to the story it wants to tell.

So, a little background, because King’s Quest, despite the lack of number after its name, is most definitely a continuation of a franchise thought long dead: Way back in the late 80s to the early 2000s, there was a company called Sierra. And one of its first products of note was King’s Quest. It wasn’t a pretty game, although it was considered so at the time. It was an arbitrary game, mocking you for deaths that weren’t always your fault (That bridge… That fucking bridge), and some of its puzzles were poorly communicated (Nikstlitselpmur in particular). But somehow, it caught people’s imaginations, and the Land of Daventry was known and beloved to many, with the exploits of the royal family (King Graham, Queen Valanice, and the Prince and Princess, Alexander and Rosella) being followed by many an adventure game fan. Of course, it wasn’t to last, and with the 6^th installment, and the death of Sierra, the title lapsed into obscurity.

Fast forward to the 28^th of July, this year, when Activision, having already resurrected Sierra as its Independent publishing brand, and asking The Odd Gentlemen (Creators of ) to make a new installment using the Unreal Engine, released the first episode of a planned 5… A new beginning.

Reactions, so far, appear to have been mixed. So let me put my own two cents in. I don’t mind the controls, they’re pretty simple, and I have yet to find any problems with controlling Graham (Past Graham, that is, as told by of the Magic Mirror of Daventry, and Grandpa Graham, the much aged ex-King.) What I was less enthused by was that, of all the design elements of the original series, The Odd Gentlemen decided to keep the arbitrary deaths (Albeit to a lesser extent), but not the comedic messages. Either that, or they’re not so good at comedic death messages. The second “puzzle” (For the beginning’s environment puzzles are not terribly complex) involves two wheels, one of which leads to certain death, one of which leads to progress. They even tell you as much. However, when going for the obviously wrong one (Although the death was not precisely what I expected), I got… The equivalent of the Prince of Persia’s “No, wait… I got that wrong, let me start again.” It was quick to get back to the scene in question, and indeed, the checkpoints throughout the first segment were fair, but… It felt like trying for a homage, and missing the mark.

References to the game this is effectively rebooting abound, but they don’t outstay their welcome.

Still, it grew on me. The first section, while somewhat arbitrary, wasn’t incredibly hard to master (in fact, I quit after I’d finished, to check how long it took me. Half an hour, including one and a half cutscenes afterward), and ended on an interesting choice. The voice acting definitely drew me in (Chris Lloyd playing Elderly Graham quite well, and other talent including Josh Keaton, Michael Gough, and Wallace Shawn… Who we shall mention again in a minute or two) and the game is undeniably pretty visually, with the music and sound hitting the right notes too. Buuuuut…

There’s not really a polite way of saying this… Yes, Odd Gentlemen, we loved Princess Bride too. I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t (Although I’ve met people who hadn’t watched it). Wallace Shawn was pretty memorable in it. But if I wanted to see Vizzini get outwitted in a prisoner’s dilemma puzzle that’s rigged, I’d watch Princess Bride. Or I’d watch something Wallace Shawn has done that isn’t just Vizzini, because the man’s done other damn good work. You’ve clearly got chops for writing some heartwarming fantasy coming of age stuff, I can tell that from the very first scene where Gwendolyn talks to her cousin. In fact, I quite like Gwendolyn. I didn’t at first, precisely because she was filling the same role as Fred Savage did in Princess Bride (And similarly wasn’t too fond of Elderly Graham until he started showing more character than “I am reliving my glory days” and… Filling the same role as Peter Falk did in… Do I need to say it?)

Whisper’s voice actor, along with the rest of the cast, manage to make the stereotypical and archetypal… Believable. “But most of all… Whisper… Love Whisper!” <3
…Me too, buddy.

So there’s an annoyance ranted out. But this episode of the game definitely doesn’t deserve a panning, because it definitely does have highs. Gwendolyn is a strong character. She’s intelligent, as bloodthirsty as I’d expect a small child to be. The characters shine, even the ones that seem somewhat stereotypical (Acorn is the Big Guy with a heart of gold, for example), the voice acting is top notch, and the puzzles often have multiple solutions (I’ve mostly gone for the friendship option in playthroughs so far). The game, as you can see, is quite pretty, and the writing has been interesting. Most of my complaints outside of the Vizzini “homage” are niggles, and I’ve not been stuck on a single puzzle element for more than about five minutes.

For the price, King’s Quest, Episode 1 will, like Graham’s puns, grow on you if you like adventure games, especially games like Life is Strange or The Wolf Among Us, which concentrate more on an engaging story than “Use cat hair with glue with [list].” If you’re not terribly fond of exploring an area, or don’t like arcade segments and quick time events in your adventure games, I’m sad to say you’ll find this a bother. Give it a go if you think you can get around it, otherwise avoid.

The Mad Welshman has befriended many a creature in his lifetime. Some of them he regretted. But most of them still come for tea and biscuits. Like Steve and Susan.

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Source: Bought with my own cashmoneys
Price: £4.79
Where To Get It: Steam Page, Owl Cave Games Homepage

Most of the shots are from Sepulchre, the middle episode.

The Charnel House trilogy feels unfinished. There, I’ve said it. It feels a little forced, and unfinished. Because, in a sense, it is forced and unfinished. It’s unfinished because it’s not really a trilogy, there’s a fourth episode coming sometime in 2016. There are also reasons for it feeling forced, and, if you’ll forgive the pre-emptive pun, railroady. But that doesn’t mean I’m overly fond of these things.

So let’s briefly summarise what it is, and take a look at why I don’t get on with The Charnel House Trilogy, and why you might or might not like it. Briefly, it’s the stories of two folks, Dr. Harold Lang (Archaeologist, and curator at the Krenwick-on-Thames museum), and Alex, a late twenty-something, slightly gothy librarian who also has an interest in the past. Both are catching a train (and then, although we don’t see it, a boat) to Augur Peak Island, past home of horror author Louis Cassell. Things Are Afoot. Emphasis on Things. It’s a point and click episodic horror adventure, and it takes between 1 and 2 hours to run through once. Now…

Reference, Reference, Everywhere…

You’ll have to take care of your wife, Dr. La- Wait, I get this sense of Deja Vu!

The game is chock full of references, and… Although I was entertained by spotting said references, they felt “for the sake of reference”, rather than their own entity. The bar scene from The Shining. The painting that seems to be a nod to The Haunting/The Fog (EDIT: It’s not, but that makes it slightly eerie. ;D ) The jokey puzzle “solution” that references It (The Stephen King novel, not The Haunting or The Fog again)… There’s even a few references to ongoing things, like the 6-10 review scale and the drama that often accompanies it (That last one, to be fair, feels more natural, and, as a reviewer who hates “pretty numbers”, I liked it.)

There is an explanation for it, although it’s not an immensely satisfying one. But it does lead onto the second point.

Flow, and Pacing.

I love your voice, Don, but we’ve got to keep meeting like this. People will talk!

I get it, the games are short, and there’s a reason for that behind at least two of the episodes (I don’t want to spoil it, in case you try the game for yourself), but the only episode where the flow and pacing felt natural was the first. The second had some very jarring and railroady “Go here, now here, see this thing, go back, see this thing, go back” for the majority of the episode, and the third… I felt hammered by the plot beats, racing one after another toward my gut, and, unfortunately, for me, it wasn’t the “pleasant” bam, revelation, bam, epiphany, bam, ohfuck, but more a discordant BAMSTUFFBAMSTUFFBAMSTUFF!

As much as I hate to say it, because I know (oh dear lord, I know) that this isn’t always possible, it could have done, in my opinion, with being longer, a little more restrained. As it is, even knowing roughly what’s going on, I felt disoriented, and not, I think, in the way the author was intending.

The Good

It’s not all bad, however. The voice acting is mostly interesting, and I do want to know more about the characters put forward so far (Well, the main characters, and “Grub”) Jim Sterling plays his role surprisingly earnestly (Worryingly so, in fact. Don’t worry, Jim, I know it’s a role!), and he put little touches in that… Well, did for me what the pacing didn’t. Peter Willington and Madeline Leroux play their roles well, and their characters (Dr. and Alex, both with interests in archaeology and history of one form or another) take the time they have with both hands, with only a few minor fumbles. Also, visually, it’s very appealing, with a similar style to the later Blackwell games, or late Sierra point and clicks, and the tunes are mostly quite good (The bar theme gets on my nerves though)

In summary, while it has its high points, it’s just not for me so far. However, two things must be noted. Firstly, it’s £5 for the trilogy so far, it’s setting something up, and so it’s really not much of a gamble to try it out for yourself. Secondly, I am notoriously picky when it comes to my horror, and pacing problems irritate me more than pretty much any other aspect of a game. There’s also, as I mentioned, the fact that there is going to be a fourth episode, that, despite my bitching and moaning, there’s definitely interesting unanswered questions (Er, what’s up with the bags, folks?) ,and the pre/post credits teaser sets up what may turn out to be something interesting (Considering Owl Cave also created Richard and Alice, which is an interesting game that’s worth a look-see too.)

In summary, it’s a love it or hate it experience. I didn’t get on with it so well, but if you like short point and click adventures, this might be up your alley. Be warned though, the big reveal might need a trigger warning, although, with horror, I really shouldn’t need to say that…

THE BAGS… THE BAGS OF MADNESS!!!

The Charnel House Trilogy was released on April 16th, 2015. I have been seeing a shadowy figure in my dreams since this review was first written. They are carrying Huge Bags.

…Hold me.

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